Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Maybe someday....


To God I wish everyday,
That you will come and look my way.
This is for what I cry in dismay,
That you will come back maybe someday.

I make a wish everynight to all the stars,
To keep you happy, be where ever you are.
For myself I wish to just one little star,
To take away my pains and heal all my scars.

In the darkness everynight I cry on my bed,
To take my life and give me death instead.
My heart bleeds with the colour so red,
I am like a tree with leaves all shed.

In my room at the corner, everyday I weep,
For the love gone, the heart I wanted to keep.
I still cry and cant put myself to sleep,
For the seeds I had sown, I am the one to reap.

Myself I curse to have said you those words,
After which you left me, with my agonies unheard.
How I wish I could take back, those dark black words,
And bring you back to my own lovely pink world.

Sometimes we say, things we did not intend,
For, in you I trust, and this is not a pretend.
In grief, a hand to you once again I extend,
Dont disown it, for this time my life may then just end.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Will you come back?


There was a time when i had u,
That was the time when i called u mine,
Those were the days when u held me,
Those were the days I would always shine.

Those moments of ecstasy,
Moments of true love,
Moments when we had each other,
Moments i wish i could just hold.


The first time you held my hand,
The first time we kissed,
our first walk together,
The movie show we nearly missed.

The day in the month of April,
The day of that sweet November,
The days when we were us,
Everyday of the month with you I remember.

The first gift that I still cherish,
The seven colours that I gathered,
After which i lost the count,
That was the love you gave me unbound.

Racing against the wind we would move,
Racing against time,
Catching each glipmse of fantasy,
Each second that I would call mine.

I had a dream in my eyes
I thought I had the right on you,
Cant tell you how it feels,
When now u say i dont matter to you.

I wish i could remove that hatred which you have in your heart,
The heart which was once mine,
Which no longer beats for me.

I want to tell you,
You are everything for me,
If only you could come back,
to hear what I speak.

I wish u could come back,
Maybe just to say goodbye,
Maybe the last hug u could give,
With a small little sigh.

I wish I hadnt let you go,
The day we last met,
Those last few words of urs,
How can I ever forget.

Just turn around and you will see,
How i still wait for you,
I wish I could make a new start,
But only if the person were still be you.

Monday, May 18, 2009

U made ME..


You made me laugh..
You made me cry..
You made me sad..i wonder why..

You made me dance..
You made me sing..
You made me wonder what my life could bring..

You made me love..
You made me hate..
You made me marvel at my fate..

You made me giggle..
You made me dream..
You made me wake up with a scream..

You made me complete..
You made me lonely..
You made me dream that i was the only..

You made me strong..
You made me weak..
You made me reach that wonderful peak..

You came in my life..
Like a beautiful song..
With trust in ur eyes that u'll be all along..

You gave me life..
Then snatched it away..
And left me all alone on my way..

I try to reach out..
To stop u from going..
But i am still and u went moving..

My life has stood still..
The day u left me..
My heart in my hand n me on my knee..

Now that ur gone..
I wonder why u came..
All that happened, I am the only one to blame..

Nothing has changed from the day u were gone..
I still wait for u with a hope in each song..

My heart still pounds at each phone ring..
Hoping that it would be ur voice again that it would bring..

I want u to know how much i truly luvd..
It is for u that i write..
Only u that i ever luvd..

With tears in my eyes..
I try to sleep again..
Now only sleep can take away all my pain..

..

i wish i could go back..
go back to the time when i had u..
i wish i could explain..
i wish u would listen..
i wish i could talk..
or maybe just hold on..

i cant let go..
cant let go of those memories..
n all those giggles..
cant let go of it at all..
coz they help me to live..
they help me survive..
they make me over come my all new frights..

u were my shell..
my only hope to live..
i wish u could come back..
and be with me to give..

dont leave me like this..
dont leave me with shattered dreams..
dont leave me in pain..
suffocating in my own screams..

every night i cry..
these tears dont stop..
the night doesnt end..
the pain wouldnt go..
even if my life ends..

Thursday, May 14, 2009

She died the day she was born..


Fairyland they say..very far far away..
Born on a beautiful night..where with the wind she swayed..

She bloomed like a flower..protected in his hands..
Lovely she became..on that strange fairyland..

Discovering her own beauties..she was lost in her dreams..
Little did she know..that she would drown in her own screams..

He would shelter her every night..
Loved her at every sight..

From beneath the shelter she emerged..
With him she would only get submerged..

She was blossoming like she had never thought..
All the obstacles on her way she fought..

To be near him..
To be with him..
Was the only way she knew to live..
All that she had..she was to give..

She knew nothing of the world around her..
All she felt..was like a feather..

Feather in his hands was all that she could feel..
There was no wound that he couldnt heal..

She was all bright n glowing..
Unaware of what beneath her was growing..

He came to touch her one fine day..
But her thorn pricked him on his way..

Fire in his eyes..he stood up tall..
How could she do that..she is so small..!!

So little in front of him she became..
Head bent down with all the shame..

Furious with anger..he came with a plough..
Started digging her..to kill her somehow..

She cried for help..for some mercy..
But he was determined and had no mercy..

Finally she gave up..and it was all gone..
Still pretty she laid..but died the day she was born..

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Do I have to give you a name??

That little curly haired girl comes in my dream every night..
No matter how hard I try to shoo her away n tell her that there is no place for her..
She doesnt listens..
She wants to come to me..
She wants to stay with me..
What do tell her..??
What do I say to her..??
Why dont you go away kid..??
Nobody wants you here..
You dont matter to anyone..
Just go away n let me be at peace..
Let me be with myself..
Let me sleep.

Thursday, April 30, 2009

The Last Tear of The Night



I sit down to write..my pen a millimeter away from the paper..all well set in my mind to put it all on paper..
My head is all saturated..but nothing comes out..nothing on paper..I try so hard..I want it all to drain away..drain away thru my pen..on the paper but nothing comes out..its all clogged up in my brain..
At 30,000 feet above the ground when all fades away, I still remember you..I see you standing out of my window dancing ur eyebrows and a naughty smile on ur face.. I try not to think abt all that..all the memories we have had..but the more i try the more they hit me back..I let the tears roll down promising myself that this will be the last one of the night..
Each n every second of my life reminds me of u..I want it all to disappear in the clouds surrounding me..
I assure myself again n again that someday i'll have new thoughts in my head..new memories to cherish but this letting-to-go is killing me..!!
Sometimes a flash of hope comes that maybe..maybe someday..But then reality settles in that this time its forever..I have to let go..let go of it all..and a tear rolls down..the another "last one" of the night....

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

I wish u cud be here..

When no onez dere for me.And wen no one cares..
Wen the whole world walks out on me.And m all alone..
I wish u cud be dere.....

Wen the one I care about the most.Could care less abt me..
Wen the one I gave my heart to.Throws it on my face..
I wish u cud be dere....

Wen the person i trusted.Betrays me..
Wen the person i shared all my memories with.Hurts me..
I wish u cud be dere....

Wen all i need is a frnd.To listen to me..
Wen all i need is someone.To catch my tears..
I wish u cud be dere....

Wen my heart beats so bad.I cant even breath..
Wen i just want to curl up and die..
I wish u cud be dere....

Wen i start to cry after hearing that sad song..
Wen the tears just wont stop falling down..
I wish u cud be dere....

I wish u cud be dere until the end....
This promise u cud make...
If i ever needed u..i wud give u a call....
And u wud be dere....

The journey..

She knows that she wanted this to happen.
She made it happen.
But she never expected this to happen.
The journey has ended now.
The road is blocked.
No matter how hard she tries to move ahead, the road wouldn't let her.
She must realize this.
And she must realize this before its too late.
Too late before she is dead..
Nothings left.
She had lost herself somewhere on the way..
She is not her anymore..
SHE made it happen.
But she never expected THIS to happen.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

A box of memories..


A box made of memories..
Locked inside are gems..
All different shapes..
All different sizes..
Each has its own value..
Each has its own passion..
All seven of them..
The seven rainbows of her life..
She counts them at every sight..
Assures herself every night..
That all of them are locked inside the box..
Kept safe from the world..
Whatever happens, no one can ever take away her gems..
Each day she looks at each of them..
Marvels them..touches them..remembers them..
She knows that she cannot have them anymore..
She cannot gather any new..
All she can do is to live the rest of her life marvelling what she has..
Remembering even the finest of the details..
She'll hold onto them forever..
Her box of memories..
Her box of life........

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

....

Inside I’m Screaming, Outside I’m Crying,
I lock myself away as if no one can set me free.
Inside I’m Screaming, Outside I’m Crying.
I feel this pain from deep within me.
Inside I’m Screaming, Outside I’m Crying.
Black tears streaming down my face.
Inside I’m Screaming, Outside I’m Crying.
I’m burning like fire, no one can help me.
Inside I’m Screaming, Outside I’m Crying.
I fight this pain every night on my own,
bleeding from inside...........

Monday, June 23, 2008

I am not myself today..maybe I am you..

Tired of being what you want me to be..
I become so numb, I cant feel you there..
I become so tired, so much more aware..
I am becoming this, all I want to do..
is be more like me and be less like you..
and I know I may end up failing too,
but I know you are just like me with someone dissappointed in you...

Monday, April 7, 2008

Will you be me wen m not myself..??

Though I am always happy..but..
Will you be a smile when I am not..??

Though I am always strong..but..
Will you be my support when I am not..??

Though I never cry..but..
Will you be my pillow when I do..??

Though I am never lifeless..but..
Will you be my life if ever I am..??

Just a l'il wish...

Just a little wish..

To wish for what I havnt..
To not wish for what i have..

To do the things I cant..
To not do the things I have..

To feel the feelings I havnt..
To not have felt what I already have..

To take my life where I cant..
To bring it back from where I have..

To want the one I dont have..
To not want the one I have..

To be the one to you I cant..
To not be the one to you I am..

To say the words I havnt..
To not say the words I have..

To be the one I am not..
To not be the one I am..

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

What does it matter..??

Duz it matter wat i do...
Duz it matter where i go...
Duz it matter wat i feel...
Duz it matter even a bit to u...

Duz it matter wen i cry...
Duz it matter wen i laugh...
Duz it matter wat hurts me...
Duz it matter wat pleases me...
Duz it matter even a bit to u...

Duz it matter wat i go thru...
Duz it matter wat i will go thru...
Duz it matter wen i feel lonely...
Duz it matter even a bit to u...

Duz it matter wat i eat...
Duz it matter wen i eat...
Duz it matter whether i eat...
Duz it..even a bit to u...

Duz it matter wen i sleep...
Duz it matter whether i sleep...
Duz it even a bit to u...

Duz it matter wat i lik...
Duz it matter wat i hate...
Duz it matter wat i want...
Duz it matter wat i dont...
Duz it..even a bit to u...

Duz it matter wat i dream of...
Duz it matter wat i think of...
Duz it matter wat scares me...
Duz it matter wat soothes me...
Duz it..even a bit to u...

Will it matter wen m gone...
Will it matter wen i die...
Will it matter even a bit to u...???