I wish u cud be here..

When no onez dere for me.And wen no one cares..
Wen the whole world walks out on me.And m all alone..
I wish u cud be dere.....

Wen the one I care about the most.Could care less abt me..
Wen the one I gave my heart to.Throws it on my face..
I wish u cud be dere....

Wen the person i trusted.Betrays me..
Wen the person i shared all my memories with.Hurts me..
I wish u cud be dere....

Wen all i need is a frnd.To listen to me..
Wen all i need is someone.To catch my tears..
I wish u cud be dere....

Wen my heart beats so bad.I cant even breath..
Wen i just want to curl up and die..
I wish u cud be dere....

Wen i start to cry after hearing that sad song..
Wen the tears just wont stop falling down..
I wish u cud be dere....

I wish u cud be dere until the end....
This promise u cud make...
If i ever needed u..i wud give u a call....
And u wud be dere....

The journey..

She knows that she wanted this to happen.
She made it happen.
But she never expected this to happen.
The journey has ended now.
The road is blocked.
No matter how hard she tries to move ahead, the road wouldn't let her.
She must realize this.
And she must realize this before its too late.
Too late before she is dead..
Nothings left.
She had lost herself somewhere on the way..
She is not her anymore..
SHE made it happen.
But she never expected THIS to happen.

A box of memories..

A box made of memories..
Locked inside are gems..
All different shapes..
All different sizes..
Each has its own value..
Each has its own passion..
All seven of them..
The seven rainbows of her life..
She counts them at every sight..
Assures herself every night..
That all of them are locked inside the box..
Kept safe from the world..
Whatever happens, no one can ever take away her gems..
Each day she looks at each of them..
Marvels them..touches them..remembers them..
She knows that she cannot have them anymore..
She cannot gather any new..
All she can do is to live the rest of her life marvelling what she has..
Remembering even the finest of the details..
She'll hold onto them forever..
Her box of memories..
Her box of life........

....

Inside I’m Screaming, Outside I’m Crying,
I lock myself away as if no one can set me free.
Inside I’m Screaming, Outside I’m Crying.
I feel this pain from deep within me.
Inside I’m Screaming, Outside I’m Crying.
Black tears streaming down my face.
Inside I’m Screaming, Outside I’m Crying.
I’m burning like fire, no one can help me.
Inside I’m Screaming, Outside I’m Crying.
I fight this pain every night on my own,
bleeding from inside...........

I am not myself today..maybe I am you..

Tired of being what you want me to be..
I become so numb, I cant feel you there..
I become so tired, so much more aware..
I am becoming this, all I want to do..
is be more like me and be less like you..
and I know I may end up failing too,
but I know you are just like me with someone dissappointed in you...

Will you be me wen m not myself..??

Though I am always happy..but..
Will you be a smile when I am not..??

Though I am always strong..but..
Will you be my support when I am not..??

Though I never cry..but..
Will you be my pillow when I do..??

Though I am never lifeless..but..
Will you be my life if ever I am..??

Just a l'il wish...

Just a little wish..

To wish for what I havnt..
To not wish for what i have..

To do the things I cant..
To not do the things I have..

To feel the feelings I havnt..
To not have felt what I already have..

To take my life where I cant..
To bring it back from where I have..

To want the one I dont have..
To not want the one I have..

To be the one to you I cant..
To not be the one to you I am..

To say the words I havnt..
To not say the words I have..

To be the one I am not..
To not be the one I am..

What does it matter..??

Duz it matter wat i do...
Duz it matter where i go...
Duz it matter wat i feel...
Duz it matter even a bit to u...

Duz it matter wen i cry...
Duz it matter wen i laugh...
Duz it matter wat hurts me...
Duz it matter wat pleases me...
Duz it matter even a bit to u...

Duz it matter wat i go thru...
Duz it matter wat i will go thru...
Duz it matter wen i feel lonely...
Duz it matter even a bit to u...

Duz it matter wat i eat...
Duz it matter wen i eat...
Duz it matter whether i eat...
Duz it..even a bit to u...

Duz it matter wen i sleep...
Duz it matter whether i sleep...
Duz it even a bit to u...

Duz it matter wat i lik...
Duz it matter wat i hate...
Duz it matter wat i want...
Duz it matter wat i dont...
Duz it..even a bit to u...

Duz it matter wat i dream of...
Duz it matter wat i think of...
Duz it matter wat scares me...
Duz it matter wat soothes me...
Duz it..even a bit to u...

Will it matter wen m gone...
Will it matter wen i die...
Will it matter even a bit to u...???

:D

An ecstatic feeling...
Tremendous joy...
I am happy as I can never be...
Thinking about nothing...
Just living each and every moment...
Treasuring each and every second...
Capturing the tiniest fraction of memory...
Preserving each minute of life...
Developing new ways of thinking...
Learning new modes of life...
Life has changed...
And I LOVE this change...!!

A little smthng dat I want..

What do I do...
Where do I go...
Two forces...
Pullin me from two different directions...
Unbearable pain...
Ripping me apart...
What do I do...
Where do I go...

Do me a favor Lord...
Take me with you...
This is all I want...
This is all I ask for...

........

Sometimes you want ppl to react d way u wud luv...
but dey react d way they luv...
Sometimes d one u luv d most hit u d hardest...
dere single sentence hits u lik a thousand knife...
it pierces ur heart...
n enters ur soul...
n hit u were it hurts d most...
For dem it meant nothing...dey dont even realise dey said it...
but for me, it crashes my whole world...
n i break down yet again...

:'(

Sometimes I want to cry...cry for no reason...
Tears flow...none to stop them...
I have ppl all around me...yet i am so lonely...
Outside i am happy...
but yet there is an ache in my heart which i dont understand...
Maybe because I dont want to...
or maybe because i cant...

All vague thots...

U feel dat ur livin in a different world......
D ppl whom u cared abt n d ppl who cared abt u.....none seem to wid u....
Sometimes d world seem to b running very fast.....u feel dat ur laggin behind.....lagging behind everything.....!!!
U want to walk wid dem......but....sometimes u jus dont care....
U want to run.....run to plc where evryone knew u......run to d place where ppl cared for u.....run to d plc where ppl wanted u coz dey luvd u n not coz dey need u.......

Straight from my "Dear Diary"...

Sometimes I feel i am standing in the middle of nowhere...
ppl seem to rush past me...
none seem to care to stop for me for a while...
n why will they...??
they all live in their own world...
I stand there with numb feelings...
I am not thinking about anything...
yet i am thinking alot...

Sometimes...

Sometimes in life u jus want to let go of urself.....
Sometimes everything seems to b falling apart....
Sometimes everything seems to b falling rite in place.....
But sometimes u jus feel not to care about watever is happenin around u.....
You want to let go of urself.....
You cannot decide whether watever is happenin around u intended to happen.....??? ...or is it jus happenin coz u wanted dem to happen...??
Sometimes life seems to b very confusing....
But d other time when u sit n think for a while....derz no confusion at all......
You feel dat u need to tk control of watever is happenin....n when u cant even control ur own thoughts then how can u control the happenings happening around u...??
den u think again.....n realise dat watevr happens happens for good......